You are what you say you are.
This is the power of the spoken word – both what we speak out loud, and what we say to ourselves.
“Words affect the mind in a pronounced way. Whether they are spoken or written, they are powerful influences. While what you say to others is important, even more important is what you say to yourself.”
We were discussing ‘weasel language’ on my coaching call this week – you know the disempowering phrases and words we use like ‘I don’t know’ ‘maybe’ ‘hopefully’ ‘probably’ ‘I’m not sure’ ‘ummm’ ‘I wish’. Why are they called weasel words? Well in Australia we don’t have weasels, so I’ll explain; weasels sneak into the chicken coop at night, put a small hole in the chicken eggs and suck all the goodness right out. Power language is definitive. Weasel words are tentative words. They drain energy from the message. Just as the weasel sucks the egg from the shell, weak words can make your message hollow. They are stealth, they are sneaky.
I had an interesting revelation on the call, I noticed that when I was sharing with the group, I would often end my sentences with ‘I’m not sure’ or ‘I don’t know, that’s just my opinion’ etc. I do this sometimes when I’m nervous, or when I’m with a group of people I don’t know. Maybe it comes from not wanting to sound arrogant, or to try and make others feel more comfortable, or perhaps I’m trying to encourage people to share. I’m not sure . . . haha wow, I just did it AGAIN. It’s sooo sneaky!
What’s dangerous about this type of language is it completely disempowers everything that comes before it. By ending my sentences with this tentative language, I am in turn deflating my whole message. With just a few careless throw away lines at the end, I was sucking the goodness right out of my speaking.
So my commitment from here on in, and my daily practice is to end my sentences powerfully. To have a weazel detection radar and be super conscious of the language I use. An empowering tool (my weasel detection radar) is to use a mantra that serves you.
A mantra is nothing more than a collection of words strung together to create a positive effect. In Sanskrit, ‘man‘ means ‘mind’ and ‘tra‘ means ‘freeing’. So a mantra is a phrase that is designed to free the mind.
“You are what you are thinking about all day long. You are also what you say to yourself all day long. If you say that you are old and tired, this mantra will be manifested in your external reality. If you say you are weak and lack enthusiasm, this too will be the nature of your world. But if you say that you are healthy, dynamic and fully alive, your life will be transformed.” – Robin Sharma
With this sneaky tentative language creeping into my dialogue, I need a mantra focused on encouraging feelings of confidence, clarity and value. My mantra: ‘my input is valuable’. By using this mantra I will be more aware of when that weasel starts to circle my precious chicken coop, and I’ll be ready to scare him off!
Can you see disempowering language showing up in your communication? Perhaps you have a self limiting belief . . . or many. How do they affect your choice of words, and your delivery? Take note of what they are, because with awareness you can help to dismantle them.
When you change your inner world, you change your outter world.
Very true words Julia. I know I often use weasel words without realising that they sneak into my conversation. I’ll try to remove them from my vocabulary list!