love your life

Julia Matheson

’tis the season to celebrate goals!

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As another year draws to an end, it naturally becomes a time in our lives for reflection.

Is it just me, or do the years actually speed up every year? I’m sure they do, there must be some logical explanation, like the earth must rotate at increasing speed or something. . . how is it less than 5 days till Christmas already?!

And because the time goes by so quickly, and we lead our lives at such a fast pace, I’m a big fan of taking time out. I put time aside for me, for solitude and some down time. Where I can have peace and quiet, alone, with no distractions, and can sit peacefully with my thoughts for personal reflection.

I mostly do this in my morning meditation, but I also love setting time aside regularly to journal, to think, to dream and to tap back into myself. Today was one of those days. I took my goal book and a pen to the beach, and reflected on the year that was. I now feel proud of what I’ve achieved, and invigorated by the possibilities for the year to come!

So cast your mind back to this time last year.  .  . How were you feeling? Where were you? What were your goals for 2013?

Reflect on the last 12 months, how has the year been for you?

Ask yourself –

  • what did I achieve, both personally and professionally?
  • What were my biggest successes?
  • my hardest failures?
  • What’s the most important lesson I learned?
  • What are you most grateful for in 2013?

Take some time now to write down your answers.

“Take pride in how far you’ve come, and have faith in how far you can go.”

As I think back over the year that’s been, I realise how massive it was for me personally. There have been big highs and lows. But as I sit here today, back home after a long whirl-wind journey across the globe, I am so happy for where I have landed. I feel as though I am exactly where I need to be. That is a wonderful feeling.

I ticked some big goals off my list this past year. But it’s only on reflection that I realise that. Once I achieve a goal, I’m always so eager to get started on the next one! I don’t often take the time to really acknowledge myself, and give myself a pat on the back.

Celebrating our successes is such an integral ingredient to goal setting. Yet one that we often skimp out on (me included).

Well enough of that. Achieving our goals is pretty dam fantastic, and I’m going to celebrate them here with you! Here’s what’s getting a BIG TICK on my goal list:

2013 Goal Crushes 

Personal:

  • travelled south america; trekked to Machu Piccu, adventured through the amazon jungle, and sailed the Galapagos Islands
  • lived overseas in Canada
  • saw three more natural wonders – Iguazu Falls, Niagara Falls & the Grand Canyon
  • celebrated my 30th birthday with my twin sister in North America
  • did my first U.S.A road trip!

Career:

  • began my first blog
  • started my own business
  • lead Vision & Goal workshops at primary and secondary schools

Health:

  • attended my first yoga retreat
  • conquered crow pose (yay!)
  • started my own meditation & yoga practice
  • learnt how to snowboard

Wow – it has been a big year! And the best bit? I like who I’m becoming in the pursuit of my goals.

The goals I set for myself this year really pushed me to grow, to develop, and to expand myself.

Reviewing and reflecting (and of course – CELEBRATING!) our goals is an important step in goal setting. It get’s us connected to where we have been, where we are now, and also get’s us clear on where we want to go.

So what are you celebrating for 2013?

Let the confetti reign, and that champagne POP!

You are freakin awesome!

celebrate

Celebrate your victories, you fought hard to get here. 

 

give the gift of goals

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It’s only 8 short days till Christmas!

If you’re anything like me, you’re still rushing around trying to find the perfect gift for people. Getting overwhelmed with busy shopping centres, car parking nightmares, and lining up at cash registers sound familiar?

And what to get those people that already have everything?

Do we really need more stuff anyway?!

Put something truly awesome under the Christmas tree this year! Give a meaningful gift that could change someone’s life. Give your loved ones the best gift of all – the GIFT OF GOALS!

“It’s not how much we give but how much love we put into giving.” – Mother Teresa

 A personalised Love Your Life coaching session will give them the gift of self expression, empowerment and freedom. You can provide them with the space to uncover their passion and purpose, enabling them to live a life they truly love!

Whether they are up to some big goals and need powerful coaching, or are seeking more direction and fulfilment in their lives. Coaching sessions are tailored to individual needs, wants and budgets. We can design the perfect gift for your loved one. Need more than one gift? Group sessions can be arranged!

This is a gift that will be impactful, empowering and lasting. 

It’s time for your loved ones to live their best lives in 2014!

Purchase your gift of goals here!

ps – When was the last time you brought yourself a gift? Perhaps it’s time to do something for YOU! Goal gifting may be exactly what you need from Santa this year. . .

christmastree

Wishing you a wonderful Christmas!

bush medicine

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I have just returned home from a lovely little bush getaway. Just me, my best friend, her gorgeous little bubba and the countryside.

We packed the car and hit the road – venturing into Victoria’s beautiful Yarra Valley – full of rolling green hills, vineyards, orchards and fresh country air.

As soon as I left town, and the first glimpse of bush was in sight, I wound down my window and sucked in the eucalyptus filled air. The ultimate hit of refreshment! As the sky got bigger, and the landscape opened up, I felt stress just melt away, my shoulders seemed to soften, and a little smile crept up on the corners of my lips. Ahhh natural beauty, you just can’t beat it.

It was just what I needed.

“I go to nature to be soothed and healed. And to have my senses put in tune once more.” – John Burroughs

We spent the day winding down – treating ourselves to delicious local produce at lunch, wandering through the quaint little shops in the main street, and just slowing down the pace of life. There was nowhere we had to be, or agenda we needed to adhere to. We had complete freedom. Cider in the sun? Why not! Picnic in the park? Hell yes! Dip in the pool? I’m putting on my bikini!

Last night at our little log cabin we sat out on the deck under the night sky watching the stars. Oh so many stars! We spent the evening eating dinner and making our way through a nice bottle of red. I thought to myself – I am in absolute heaven right now. I was so relaxed and content just sitting outside enjoying the beautiful surrounds. More often than not, it’s the simple things that have the most profound impact. Gum trees, fresh air, my best friend and good conversation. Just fabulous, what more could I want?

As the sun set we listened to a symphony of sounds – I couldn’t believe how loud all the insects and creatures were! The cicadas were out in full force, and started so suddenly, like they were all on cue – talk about surround sound! The beautiful bird calls at dusk were glorious – kookaburras, wattle birds, rosellas, galahs, cockatoos and magpies. Then the frogs started croaking down in the dam below us. I put my feet up, closed my eyes, and just listened to all the wonderful sounds going on around us in nature. Not one man-made sound was heard that night (well, other than a crying baby inside our cabin!).

Spending time with a little person always highlights the power of simplicity. Everything is new and so exciting to them! A puddle – well that’s hours of splashing pleasure! A fork at the lunch table – best new toy ever! There are always new sights, sounds, tastes and things to touch. I know where the saying ‘simple pleasures’ comes from.

I took little Aurelia for a sunrise walk in the morning through the bush. We saw moorhens walking around the reeds on the dam, ducks swimming with their little ducklings, kangaroos bounding across the hillside, rabbits jumping around with their little white tails. She splashed in puddles, picked up sticks, squelched in the mud, pointed at different things and just had a ball. You know what, so did I. Watching her simple fascination really opened up my eyes to the magic that was all around us.

   “Never neglect to see the exquisite beauty in all living things.” Robin Sharma

While we were at the park yesterday we met another mother and her two gorgeous little girls – Cherry and Honey. I was roped into playing hide & seek, and competing in running races around the trees – so much fun. We discovered that they moved up from Melbourne recently as her husband works at the local food & wine hot spot. She said how she loved living here, and that they no longer needed two cars – she and the girls can walk everywhere in town. They don’t have to commute anywhere. As I watched the girls run around the park, wild white ibis birds walking around the place, giant old trees, a fresh water stream running by – I thought, what a lovely little life they have here in the country.

Me and my girlfriend fantasised about having a country house to escape to one day. It’s already on my vision board.

As I drove back home I vowed to venture into the country more often. To get away and explore new parts of the land.

A country getaway is now going on my monthly goals!

When was the last time you went on a little getaway?

forest

how to create a vision board

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Got a picture of your life in 10 years time?

No? Well here’s how!

Following on from my last post visualise your best life – below are some easy steps to create your very own Vision Board.

By focusing our attention on what we want, as opposed to what we don’t want – the power and possibilities that open up for us are limitless.

“Where we place our attention is what we will create for ourselves.”

My Vision Board is made up of images and words that represent the future I want to create for myself. It’s something that makes my heart smile, and gives me inspiration to go about the work that will get me there.

my vision board

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Vision Boards are the ultimate in manifestation. Our vision creates our legacy. It serves as a tool to keep you inspired, keep you on track, and keep you motivated. It also utilises the Law Of Attraction – a Vision Board is an awesome way to communicate with the Universe about what you would like to collaborate on in your life. Plus, they are fun to make!

HOW TO CREATE A VISION BOARD

1) Imagine.

Make time for yourself. Put away all distractions. Find a quiet place to sit or lie, where you will be able to seek enough solace to get your daydream on. Close your eyes and spend some time with your thoughts. Allow your mind to wander into the most inspired future you can visualise for yourself.

Imagine your ideal life in 10 years time. You are unlimited.  You can be and do anything in the world! Ask yourself these questions:

  • Where do you live?
  • Who is there with you?
  • What does a day in your ideal life look like?
  • What are your core values?
  • What do you do for work?
  • Do you travel?  Where to?
  • What type of lifestyle do you have?
  • How do you take care of yourself? Physically, mentally and spiritually.
  • What are you grateful for?
  • What makes you excited?
  • What do you really want to have?
  • Who do you really want to be?

2) Seek.

Find the images, words, quotes and affirmations that remind you of all of the things you see in your future. All of the people you want to meet and be around, the places you want to live in and visit, the events you want to experience, the accomplishments you want to reach, the feelings you want to emulate, and the emotions you want to fill your cells with. Use Google Images, Flickr, or Pinterest to find images online. Or, just flick through magazines, brochures and newspapers.

3) Create.

This is the fun part – you get to channel your inner-child and have a good old craft party! Arrange the pieces of your vision board into a beautiful collage, then get to sticking. Mine was made with a big piece of cardboard that I then laminated. But you can pin yours to a cork board, or create an online vision board as a screen saver, or through pintrest. Your options are only limited to your imagination.

 Why not spread the love and invite your mates around for a Vision Board party?

I’m doing exactly that! This Friday is the Love Your Life Vision Creation Station! It’s fun, free and fabulous!

Check out the event page, or facebook for more details. We look forward to seeing you there!

Happy vision boarding everyone 🙂

xxx

visualise your best life

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What does your life look like ten years from now?

It’s a pretty scary thought for some of us.

Most people tend to have a vague idea of what their life will look like down the road, but there is a HUGE difference between living a life that’s probable, to creating a life that’s possible. When we stand in a place of possibility, we let go of constraints that have held us back, and the world truly becomes our oyster.

“To liberate the potential of your mind, body and soul, you must first expand your imagination. You see, things are always created twice; first in the workshop of the mind and then, and only then, in reality. Anything that you create in your outer world began as a simple blueprint in your inner world, on the lush picture screen of your mind.” – Robin Sharma

I remember the first time I did a vision meditation. I closed my eyes and thought about my life in ten years time – where I was living, what I was doing, who I was with. I envisaged every detail of my perfect life. I let my imagination go wild, and saw colourful images of my future life flash before my eyes. My best life literally appeared before my eyes, and it was so beautiful and exciting. I felt empowered and inspired by my own imagination, as Einstein once said “Your imagination is your preview to life’s coming attractions.”

What an amazing experience. All of a sudden I went from having never thought about my life in ten years, to being able to see it in clear, specific detail. For the first time I had a picture in my mind of my best life. I got excited about creating this dream life that lay ahead of me. This exercise helped me switch from a mind frame of ‘life happening to me’, to one of control and empowerment. I realised I can create my world. It’s all up to me.

You get to design your life.

You are the author of your own story.

My vision became the basis for all my goal-setting. Over the years, some of my goals have changed, but my vision has remained constant. It’s still a grounding force in my life that keeps me inspired and gives me direction.

I love to write, so for me writing my vision is really powerful – but it’s only one half of the recipe. When we transfer our words into images, the process means that our whole brains are being utilised, not just half of them. Vision boards work really powerfully to activate the right-brain hemisphere and activate creativity, imagination and visualisation. Collate all the pictures, words and images that speak to you. They will help you affirm your intention and mobilise your energies towards achieving your goals.

“The mind works through pictures. Pictures affect your self-image and your self-image affects the way you feel, act and achieve. When you run inpsiring, imaginative pictures through the movie screen of your mind, wonderful things start to happen in your life.” – Robin Sharma

Having a vision board also means that we can see our ideal future at a glance – a picture really does tell a thousand words! Put your vision board somewhere prominent- on your fridge, above your desk at work, on your bedroom wall – anywhere you will see it numerous times a day. It helps you stay focused on your goals through visual cues in your environment that remind you of what’s meaningful to you.

The most important thing is to make your vision board YOURS, and no one else’s. “The problem is that these boards can reflect an unrealistic, commercially motivated vision of what people think their life ‘should’ look like. Not only is this unproductive, but it can have a negative effect on our future.” – Shawn Achor. This exercise is for you, and for you alone. Your vision board should represent your own unique values, wants and desires – not what society, friends, family or partners expect of you.

Creating a vision for your life draws it into existence through the law of attraction. “What we focus on becomes our reality, which is why it’s so important for our brains to focus on real, meaningful, and positive goals. No matter what your goal is, visualising what success would look like will help you steer you the the beach instead of the rocks.” Shawn Achor

“It is quite amazing what a powerful effect the simple act of positive visualisation can have on our reality. . . Of course, visualisation doesn’t take the place of action. Visualisation is not the means to your goals. It is the accelerant that gets you on the right trajectory towards those goals.” – Shawn Achor

The next step is to visualise yourself living your dream life, and experiencing the good feelings associated with your success. Start to believe that you have already achieved your goals. This is a marvellous trick on our sub-conscious minds, and makes our brain believe it’s achievable. “I want to be clear here. It’s not some magical process where the universe sprinkles fairy dust on you because you think pretty thoughts. Im talking about the power you mobilise within yourself, consciously and subconsciously, when you make the effort to clarify your goals and visualise them as being achieved, while doing the required legwork.” – Christine Comaford-Lynch. So start envisioning your dream life, building it until it’s real and vivid.

 “When you learn to take control of your thoughts and vividly imagine all that you desire from this worldly existence in a state of total expectancy, dormant forces will awaken inside you. You will begin to unlock the true potential of your mind to create the kind of magical life that you deserve. From tonight onwards, forget about the past. Dare to dream that you are more than the sum of your current circumstances. Expect the best. You will be astonished at the results.” – Robin Sharma

dreamboard

“Imagination is more important than knowledge.”

– Albert Einstein.

WISH IT.   DREAM IT.   DO IT.

PSSSTT!!  Love Your Life is hosting a vision board workshop this Friday 29th November – the Vision Creation Station!

Check out the event page, or facebook for more details.

We look forward to seeing you there!

10 steps to rock your life

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Want to increase your quality of your life?

Achieve some really big goals?

Check out these rad ideas by Christine Comaford-Lynch. . .

10 STEPS TO BUILD YOUR MOMENTUM

1.  Rock responsibility. Say bye bye to blaming others because your life isn’t working or you don’t have what you want. Ditto for complaining, which is blame disguised. You’re no ones victim. Everything in our lives, good or bad, is the result of our actions or thoughts. When we take 100% responsibility for our lives were acknowledging this, which then enables us to improve our situation. Responsibility is an active pursuit.

2.  Get visual. Visualise your goals being achieved and act on making them happen. Your goals should include what you want to achieve, and a by-when date. Keep track of how you’re progressing. It will work wonders in focusing yourself and keeping you on track.

3.  Solicit superb support. A supportive tribe is necessary to getting stuff done. Two ways are a) an accountability partner, or b) a master mind group. An accountability partner is a friend or colleague who will help you stay accountable to your commitments. A mastermind group is a group of like mined people who help further one another’s goals on a group basis.

4.  Toss toxicity. You probably have some toxic people in your life right now. They’re the folks who seem to want to hold you back or bring you down. Know anyone who actively hampers your ability to advance? They’re deflators, energy vampires. You can choose to ignore them or let their negativity bounce off you. If you’re not sure if someone is toxic, just monitor how you feel after spending time with them. Feel furious? Exhausted? Despondent? You’ve got a life one: get out of the isolation suit!

5.  Pump up the positive. Use only positives when you talk to yourself about your goals. Negative self talk fosters a negative self image, which results in negative behaviours. We sabotage ourselves far more than anyone sabotages us, (‘see? I knew they wouldn’t hire me/ask me out/give me the award.’). List your strengths. Don’t list your shortcomings; instead, reframe them as strengths you want to develop. Another way to accentuate the positive is to read inspiring books, listen to uplifting motivating CD’s or podcasts. Surround yourself with upbeat energy.

6.  Log onto the Law Of Attraction. You’ve heard the saying ‘what you focus on, you become’ – thats the idea of the law of attraction. When you develop a clear idea of what you want, focus on it, and feel good about it, your mind will consider your wishes to be marching orders. The universe will conspire to help to make your dreams come true. This is why you have to know what you want, look at images of what you want, imagine yourself already having it, and do the work required to make your dreams come true. As Norman Vincent Peale put it, “formulate and stamp indelibly on your mind a mental picture of yourself as succeeding. Hold this picture tenaciously. Never permit it to fade. Your mind will seek to develop the picture.“

7.  Persevere. You’re probably going to have a healthy number of so-called failures and rejection your career and life. The key is how you view them and whether you let them hold you back. I think of failures as ‘learning adventures’ to reduce their negative impact. As Henry Ford said, ‘Failure gives us the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.” Its ok to be afraid, and its certainly okay to fail, and everybody gets rejected. Prepare for these inevitable knocks.

8.  Pay attention. One of the fundamental attitudes you need to cultivate is constantly paying attention to whats going on around you. That may seem obvious, but its not just about focusing closely on what you’re doing. Sometimes when your concentrating on what you’re doing, you miss the important stuff. While you’re concentrating on the cracks in the sidewalk, you miss the rainbow. We are all oblivious at times, but the more you increase your attention to life, the more present you are, the more you’ll notice opportunities. Cultivate the ability to laser focus and scan your surroundings.

9.  Continuously course-correct. We all make mistakes. The more honest we are, the more likely well avoid mistakes or recognise them immediately and be able to clean them up quickly. The more we clean up our messes, the less guilt, regret, or baggage we have, the lighter our load is, and the easier it becomes to rise above petty issues and see more clearly. Clearer vision results in better decisions.

10.  Celebrate success. You took the risks, now celebrate the reward. What’s a compelling way to reward yourself? That’s your motivation. Celebration will make the work worth it.

rockon

take me to the ocean

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I love the beach.

It’s my refuge. The ocean has an intense healing effect on me.

Living up in the Canadian mountains for the past year has made me realise just how important the ocean is to me. I now have a deeper appreciation for all things sandy and salty.

Yesterday I walked along the beach for two hours, shoes in hand, feet in the shallows, strolling along in the sunshine. I love collecting beach treasures (see below!) and looking out over the endless water on the horizon. It’s one of my favourite things in the world.

seashells

I have always been a ‘water baby’. My sister and I grew up coming to the coast most weekends with my family, snorkelling, swimming and exploring the sea shore. I remember my Dad patting sting rays, and coaxing octopus out of their hiding holes to show to us. Then, as soon as I was old enough I started scuba diving. Wow, what an incredible experience that is – to be part of the under water world. Diving needs a whole other post!

The fondest memories of my life revolve around something water based. For as long as I can remember, I have been drawn to water by something bigger than myself.

Life is good when my feet are in the sand and salt is in my hair.

I often feel land-locked when I’m away from water for long periods of time. A certain claustraphobia slowly takes its gripp on me – even in the vastest of open country sides. When I return back to the ocean, I feel like I can breathe again.

I have been told by spiritual healers that I have a strong connection with the ocean. They speak of past lives, dolphins, and mermaid energies. So perhaps at one point I was a mermaid, dancing under the ocean waves with the creatures of the sea. It sounds pretty cool to me. I don’t know if it’s true, but what I do know, is that I feel great when I’m at the ocean.

Close your eyes and think of how relaxed you feel surrounded by the ocean, walking barefoot on the sandy shore, the foamy waves lapping at your feet, hearing the rhythm of the crashing waves, and smelling the salty air. . . The stress of everyday life just seems to melt away.

It’s no wonder water has a soothing, calming effect on our bodies and minds: (1) We are made up of water, over two-thirds of our body is water, (2) Even our bones are composed of more than 20% water! (3) Every living thing has water, and we need water to survive. Yup, water is kind of a big deal.

“The beneficial qualities of seawater have been known to mankind for centuries and have been noted as having a great healing effect. Sea water contains many minerals needed by your body to help heal and detoxify.” – Aqua For Balance, water-based wellness.

Not convinced? Check out these natural healing properties of the ocean – 3 more reasons to get your butt to the beach:

  • sound of ocean waves – researchers have discovered that the sound of waves actually alters the wave patterns in the brain, soothing you into a deeply calm and relaxed state. Relaxing in this way can help revitalise your mind and your body.
  • salt water – sea water contains about 3.5% by weight of salt (sodium chloride). 83 elements of the periodic table, biologically available, are found in sea water. Ninety nine percent of the mineral salts in sea water are composed of five main elements: chlorine, sodium, sulphur, magnesium, calcium and potassium.
  • sea air – Sea air is full of healthy negative ions, charged particles which improve our ability to absorb oxygen by neutralising damaging free radicals (positive ions). Negative ions also help balance levels of serotonin, a body chemical associated with mood and stress. That is why a day at the beach leaves you feeling not only more alert and energised, but also deeply relaxed and able to sleep more soundly.

That’s some pretty amazing benefits just from a simple trip to the beach!

I know that when my life gets crazy, and I’m feeling disconnected – that a trip to the ocean is the only prescription I need.

Just me and the water. It’s my favourite form of meditation.

What is your natural healer?

It may be the mountains, the open country side, a peaceful park, or your own garden.

When did you last take the time to heal yourself in nature?

takemetotheocean

fear of being left behind?

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Today I realised that I can count all my single friends on one hand.

Talk about a wake-up call. Wow, when did that happen?

Slowly but surely, my circle of friends has partnered off, one by one, and are now either engaged or married.

That’s to be expected as you enter your thirties, that’s the way life goes doesn’t it?

It’s been such a beautiful thing to witness and be part of these celebrations. Sharing these special experiences with my friends has been wonderful. I truly am so happy for them. (And I don’t say that with a forced smile, deep down resenting my friends for finding happiness. Not at all, I am genuinely happy for them).

But this has also been a time where fomo (fear of missing out) rears its ugly little head.

This is me being real and vulnerable with you. . .

The worry creeps in now and then, that I am somehow ‘behind’ all of my friends, and that I am missing out. That my life has been put on hold until I find ‘the one’. Sometimes I feel like the person that no one picked for their team, standing alone, looking at everyone else together, and happy.

Even though these thoughts are fleeting, and don’t by any means consume me – they still appear. Yup, fomo can be a real bit*ch!

“Comparison is the thief of joy” – Theodore Roosevelt

Why do I feel like I’m missing out anyway? Like there’s only a certain number of soul-mates, and that when other’s find their partner, that some how, my own chances are diminished? Ridiculous.

I hear people talk about their ‘time running out’, and unfortunately for women of a certain age this is a real fact. We do hear the loud ticking of our biological clocks – as it means either not being able to conceive, or running the risk of pregnancy complications, birth defects and more. Luckily I’m not at that point, but this is real stuff for some women. You can’t chant that away, or positive-phsyc yourself out of that situation. No amount of crystals, or incense is going to change the fact that yes, our eggs do have an expiry date.

Plus there’s the old chestnut of “I don’t want to be 65 years old at my child’s 21st birthday!”. Yup, I can relate to that one. I’ve always wanted to be a young-mum, so that I can relate to my kids, and have the energy to keep up with them! Plus, how cool would it be to be a great-grandma one day? If you had of asked me ten years ago, I would have said by now I would have already have popped out two kids!

It seems like adding insult to injury when you start to see ex-boyfriends get engaged and tie the knot – even the ones that spoke about fear of commitment, and not wanting marriage in their lives. It’s easy to feel like we’re prepping our partners for marriage, doing all the ground-work – only to have someone else reap all the benefits of our hard work! haha yes, I’m LAUGHING as a type this! It’s so ridiculous.

These thoughts are definitely not my beliefs, yet they still pop up – the preverbal devil on my shoulder – to test my strength and faith.  Why do we do this to ourselves? Our minds work in mysterious ways.

We don’t have a say over how many of these things in life will pan out, but here’s what YOU CAN DO –

You can CHOOSE the perspective you take, and the attitude you hold.

I could sit here and whine about “when is it my turn?”, or lament about the fact that I don’t have a big bunch of single girlfriends to go out with anymore – but what good would that do? How would that make me feel? It’s not going to change my situation, not only that, it’s actually going to make me feel worse for it.

I know that my time hasn’t come yet. I have no angst or worry about if, and when, it will come either.

I have my health, a great circle of friends, a loving family – and most importantly, the relationship I have with myself is stellar! Now those are things to be thankful for. Gratitude has an incredible way of tipping the scales in our favour.

I love my life, my independence, and I wouldn’t change one thing about the choices I’ve made. My experiences have made me who I am, and I am forever grateful for having such a rich and full life.

The most important relationship we will ever have, is the one with ourself.

loveyourself

Love begins with us. How pure is the love between two people that barely even love themselves? To stay with someone because your scared of being alone, or to think you won’t find a better partner – these are not reasons to stay in a relationship. Personally, I would rather be alone and happy, than in a relationship and unhappy. Hands down. I have experienced the latter, and will never allow myself to be in that situation again. But that’s just me, and we all choose our own path.

I love myself today far more than I ever have. I am clear about who I am as a person. I have had the time to grow and expand alone, without letting myself be defined by another. I know what I want from a relationship, and what I have to contribute. I know what I deserve, and what I will, and will not compromise on.

I am so clear on what I want to create for my life, and look forward to meeting someone to share it all with. Someone to give love to, to support, to encourage. I want a relationship that makes us better people, that lifts us both up and brings out our best qualities – otherwise, what’s the point?

In the meantime, instead of waiting for my prince charming – I’m going to treasure myself, prioritise my happiness, make time for me – and tell myself ‘I love you’ every day.

Yup I’m starting a love-affair with myself, and it’s going to be hot and steamy!

Mills & Boon, eat your heart out.

“To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.”

– Oscar Wilde

trust your gut

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I made a pretty big decision last week.

One that popped up unexpectedly – it snuck in through the back door like a stealth ninja.

I have decided to stay here in Australia.

This came as a big surprise to me. I wasn’t even home-sick living in Canada! Of course, I missed my friends and family – but I never had those heart-wrenching moments of despair that made me want to pack my bags and leave. It is an amazing place, and I had a fantastic time there. I created friends and memories that will last me a lifetime.

But being home has slowly stolen my heart.

With the whirl-wind that has been my visit home, I didn’t stop and think about what I actually wanted. I just thought I was here for a visit, temporarily – before I was to get back on a plane to Canada. My calendar was jam-packed with coffee dates, dinners, lunches, sweat dates – quality time catch up’s left right and centre! And with the hype leading up to my best friends wedding, I never took the time out to connect back with myself, and check-in with how I was actually feeling.

What do I want?   Where do I want to be?   What do I want to do?

These were the questions that starting spinning through my mind just three days before my scheduled departure date. Along side these thoughts was an anxiety that took hold of my gut. I didn’t have the luxury of time, which meant I couldn’t afford to hesitate. I had to make a decision quick smart!

Enter the FREAK OUT! Why was I thinking these thoughts? What does all this mean? Am I scared about going back to the unknown, a new city, no job, no home? But I’ve done all that before when I moved overseas, so surely I’m not ‘scared’, I know I can do it. Then I started to question where the anxiety was coming from – maybe I actually just don’t want to go?

I let these thoughts settle, and I sat with them for a day. That was a very uncomfortable 24 hours let me tell you! Not knowing the answer was a hard thing for me.

There were signs popping up all over the place, but it took me a little while to notice them. My living arrangements for Canada fell through, then so did the job I was hoping for. Obviously a huge factor was my Auntie’s health, with the recent news of her diagnosis. All these things caused me to question my motivation for returning.

I could go on an on about the many factors in my decision – but you know the most liberating thing? I didn’t even need to justify my choice. Not to myself, nor to anyone else.

I felt it in my gut.

I knew something didn’t feel right about me leaving. And it was as simple as that. So within 24 hours I had made up my mind about where I wanted to be. I wanted to be here. To be home.

“Always, always trust your first gut instincts. If you feel in your heart and soul that something is wrong, it probably is.”

The moment I made my choice, I felt the anxiety and angst lift. The knot in my stomach and the furrow in my brow just melted away. A HUGE weight had been lifted off my shoulders. It felt right in my body.

I am very much a “let’s weigh up the pro’s and con’s” type girl, someone that writes lists, analyses all the options, and makes decisions based on logic, fact, and what’s “right” for me. This was honestly the first time that I let my own intuition guide me on such a big decision. I can’t express how good that feels!

The biggest take away from all of this?

I GET TO CREATE MY LIFE.

So it’s not so much about where I choose to live geographically. I know I will love my life wherever I am. It’s that I have the power to create whatever I choose. Because I am in control of my own destiny.

I am excited about building my life here, and being surrounded by my loved ones again.

Thank you oh holy gut, you know all the answers.

You are far wiser than I’ll ever be.

I look forward to using you more often.

trustyourgut

the roller coaster of life

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It’s been so nice to be home. I’ve spent the last few weeks spending time with my family, catching up with old friends (and their new babies!), soaking up the fresh ocean air, practicing yoga and celebrating my best friends wedding.

The excitement of all these things has been juxtaposed with the news that my closest Aunty has lung cancer.

I found this out the day I left Canada. I was checking my emails on the way to the airport and there it was, written in front of me, the three words no one ever wants to hear – I have cancer.

I couldn’t wait to get back home be with her and my family. The news made an already long journey seem extra extra long! I felt like I would never get home, such long flights, delays, sitting in transit at airports. . . But after nearly 2 days of travel, I finally touched down in Australia.

My auntie had been rushed to hospital the week prior with chest pains, thinking it may have been a heart attack, or angina. Thankfully her heart is great. What they did find however, were two growths on her lung. The test results from the biopsy then came back confirming our worst fear.

Like many of you, my family has lost too many people prematurely to this disease. I’ve shared before about how these kinds of events can shake you, and give you a new perspective on life – my post ‘clarity through loss’.

“At every point in the life cycle, we are vulnerable to the impact of unexpected events that tear off our mask, shake us out of our complacency and propel us into some serious thinking about what matters. People who have lived through life-changing events can often be heart to say, Why did it take a crisis to bring us to our sense? We always knew what was important, but we didnt act as if we knew.” Hugh Mackay

I’m in complete admiration at how my Aunty is handling the news. She has the bravery of a soldier, facing this challenge head on with such a great attitude. Sometimes with the Big C, our attitude is half the battle. Our mindset is so very important, and at times like this it becomes even more so.  It takes a certain courage and strength of will, to not just fall into an emotional heap. Not her. She is so pragmatic and positive – just getting on with living her life!

Experiencing this challenging time has really made me appreciate what’s important. After all, it’s the low points in life that often make us appreciate the highs.

Without darkness, we cannot know the light.

darkness